I’m not sure if I want to read this or not…

So as I was making my three minute commute to work this morning, the newswomen on the radio talked about this book: ‘Confessions of a Scary Mommy’: An honest look at motherhood during her broadcast. I was intrigued by the title and decided to check out what the book is all about. So, I went online and found an excerpt from it. If you want to check it out for yourself, go to this link:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/46942778/ns/today-books/#.UFM9VIH4JtI

I must say, the excerpt was both funny and disturbing all at the same time and I’m on the fence about whether or not I want to read it. The reason being is because I can just see myself obsessing about trying to avoid some of the not-so-good things that other mothers have confessed to doing and then hating myself for ending up doing those same exact things anyway. Kind of crazy thinking I suppose, but that’s just how I roll sometimes. The one thing that I could see myself doing from the excerpt is taking Ryan to daycare at the gym and then heading off to surf the Internet instead of actually working out. However, since I really enjoy working out, I’ve actually used the daycare like it’s intended, especially at the YMCA, which I’ve talked about before. I love working out and being able to have someone to watch him for an hour or so has been awesome! Thanks again ladies! One thing from the excerpt that I couldn’t see myself doing is trying to get sick at 6 pm so I have an excuse to go to bed. How stupid is that? Getting sick sucks and to try to do it on purpose just sounds lame.

Anyway, books and reading aside, I want to talk quick about going back to work. It’s been interesting to say the least and I’m surprised by how much I really don’t want to be at work. I honestly thought it would have been a lot easier than it has been. I really miss being with Ryan and just chilling together during the day. I’m just hoping that things will be better next week and that I won’t be so down about it. It just gets me how much he changes from the time that I leave him in the morning to the time that I see him at night. It’s not a long time, but long enough. I hope I don’t miss anything when I’m not around him, like more smiling or his first words, that would make me even more sad. At least the weekend is here and me, Ryan and Dave get to have a good time together! So, I’m going to stop writing now and go enjoy it. I hope you enjoy your weekend too!

OMG, I go back to work next week!

I'm going to miss this little guy when I go back to work.

I can’t believe it! Next week Wednesday, I go back to work and this chic is completely freaking out about it! No longer do I get to sit at home and chill with my little baby boy. Nope, no more spending the whole day together because now I have to reenter the real world and I have no idea how this whole thing is going to pan out.

For starters, I’m a little apprehensive about taking Ryan to day care. Sure, he’s been to kid’s corner at the YMCA a few times and has handled it beautifully, but that still doesn’t ease my concerns. Oh, side note here, the ladies who work at the kid’s corner at the East Side YMCA are totally awesome and Ryan just loves going there! They hold and oogle over him, so, when I pick him up after my work-outs, he’s nothing but happy! Thanks ladies! With that said, back to my concerns about day care. I’m not sure why I’m so freaked out about it since the place, KinderCare on the east side, we’re going to take him is clean while the staff is very, very friendly. When I stopped in this week to get his paperwork, everyone was on the ball and the kids in the infant room looked happy. Basically, I don’t know why I’m freaking out so much given that I know he’s going to get great care. I think what’s bothering me about it, is that I feel like they’re not going to be able to take care of him as good as Dave and I have. It’s rather annoying to be honest and I think it’s just my motherly instinct kicking in. I hope that my overprotectiveness goes away.  In time, I think that it will.  One thing that’s easing my concerns is that my mom is going to watch him one day a week and he just loves Grandma! :o)

Something else that I’m worried about is actually returning to work and being able to get back into the groove of everything. I think the first hurdle that I’m going to have to overcome is being able to work eight hours straight. Plus, there’s all that grown up thinking that’s going to need to be done and I hope my brain can handle it. Seriously, going from talking and playing with Ryan along with watching Teen Mom on MTV back to handling customer questions and complaints is going to a shocking daily shift in activities. At first, I have a feeling that it’s all going to be overwhelming and I’m sure there might be some tears. Ughh, tears??? I’m such a girl. However, when I’m able to get into a routine, I’m praying that it will all be fine and that I’ll be able to handle it. Fingers crossed! One thing that I do have going for me is that I did do some fall preview stories for the De Pere Journal while I was on maternity leave. It was a bit of a challenge since I had to squeeze the work in between Ryan’s nap, yet, I was able to get it done. That gives me a little bit of hope that going back to work won’t be super horrible. We’ll just have to see I suppose.

Now, probably the biggest thing that I’m concerned about when it’s time for me to go back to work next week is that I won’t be with my little man all day. I’ve gotten used to his company and to not have him by my side is going to be super strange. I’m going to miss him so much, but that’s a good thing due to the fact that it means that we both bonded a bunch like a mom and a child should. And yes, I’m trying to be positive about having to leave him because if I don’t look at the positives right now, I get a little sad. So, happy thoughts, happy thoughts, HAPPY THOUGHTS! One happy thought I’m going to always come up with when I think of him is his little grin, he’s such a happy baby, even when he wakes up. Not sure where he got that from though, neither Dave nor myself is a morning person! LOL!

Anyway, as I look back on my 10 or so weeks with Ryan at home, I realize how special our time was together. This Tomboy learned how to become a mother and whoever thought that would happen? Not me at first, but with Dave’s help, I was able to do it. Thanks dear! Something else I realized during my maternity leave was that family is most important. Ryan brought our family closer together and the relationship that I have with Dave and his kids has only grown stronger, especially my relationship with Emily who still lives at home. She’s been so awesome and cares so much about Ryan that seeing them together brings a smile to my face! 

Right now, the future looks bright for us and I can’t wait for what’s to come. One thing’s for sure, it’s going to be a fun adventure and I’m ready for it. I hope that you are too since I’m going to write about it all as much as I can! :)

So much to talk about, so little time!

You would think that since I’m at home all day long that I would have all sorts of time to do things. Well guess what folks, that’s not the case at all! :) And what’s worse is that my time with Ryan is flying by and soon I’ll have to go back to work, super yuck!

Anyway, with my griping now over, it’s time to go through some of the milestones that Ryan, Dave, myself, and the rest of the family have had over the last couple of weeks. So, here they are:

• Ryan was baptized! It was such an awesome experience and all of our family and friends were there. My brother Craig was his godfather and Emily, Dave’s daughter, was his godmother. The mass was very beautiful and the party after at my parent’s house was great. Thanks to everyone who attended!
  

We love the little guy!

• I got my sense of smell back! Sure, this might sound pretty trivial, but it’s been pretty crazy for me because of everything I can smell again. I had no idea how much I couldn’t smell things until I could start smelling them all again. Some pleasant things I’ve encountered so far are Dave’s cooking, the flowers outside, Ryan’s cute baby smell, fresh brewed coffee, and baked chocolate chip cookies. Some horrible things I’ve smelled so far are Ryan’s gross poop diapers, the skunk outside, garbage, and bad perfume!
  
• Ryan kinda slept through the night a couple of times! I say kinda due to the fact that it wasn’t the whole night that he slept, just part of it. For the past few nights, he’s been sleeping about four or five hours straight. Hopefully, the trend continues and he eventually gets up there to like six or seven hours, that would be so wonderful!
  
• Speaking of sleep, we’ve figured out a sleeping schedule that let’s both Dave and I get more sleep. The thing is, more doesn’t necessarily mean enough sleep and there’s been times where we’re like the walking dead. We’re getting through it though and what I’m taking from it is that what doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger! Hear my roar!
  
• I worked out for the first time! It was both fantastic and horrifying. I mean, it felt great to get moving again and workout, but then it was not so great when I couldn’t breathe and wanted to stop after like five minutes. Oh well, baby steps I guess.
  
• Ryan ate rice cereal! Yes, the little guy is only seven weeks old, yet he has such a super huge appetite that we had to try something to fill up his little tummy other than formula. He totally likes it and it’s so cute when he eats it! It’s like, num, num, num…rice cereal all over his face and then eventually, he swallows a little bit. Dave and I feed him together because it’s definitely a two person job!
  
• I’ve managed to figure out how to go grocery shopping and run errands all on my own with Ryan in tow. It’s a bit of a chore since his car seat is so freaking heavy! So my game plan at every store we go to is to park next to a cart rack with carts in it (because if there are no carts, what good would that do?), get a cart, put Ryan in said cart in his car seat, and then head into the store. We’ve been to all sorts of places together and now when he gets fussy at wherever we might be, I either bust out the nookie or the bottle and we’re good to go!
  
• Ryan has out grown some of his clothes! I knew it was going to happen and the fact that it’s happened this quick is pretty crazy! We now have a box for all the stuff he can’t wear anymore and plan on donating it to people in need. 

Scooch, scooch, scooch!

• The little guy has started to scooch across the floor, can almost roll over, moves his arms and legs like he's swimming, and with some help, can stand up. Granted with the standing, he can’t do it on his own, however, his little legs are super strong. Basically, he just stands on my lap while I hold him and looks around. It’s cute! 

• I’ve learned how to cook and make Dave dinner now and again. Tonight, I’m trying this crazy pasta bake thing that I’m going to create from scratch, we’ll see how it turns out!
• Ryan now smiles when he’s happy and has all sorts of facial expressions from grumpy face to pouty face to what the hell are you doing face to the I’m a cross between being happy and not happy and the I’m tired face, but don’t want to go to sleep! It’s interesting to see the little man he’s becoming and how expressive he can be. I just love being able to watch him and take it all in!

Well, that’s just a few milestones that we’ve all had over the last couple of weeks. Sorry that I haven’t posted more, but like I said, I’ve been super busy. Hopefully, I’ll be able to start blogging on a regular basis again. So until next time, it’s Carla the tomboy and new mom saying farewell!