I hope I’m ready for this...

To save money, we decided to take Ryan out of daycare and that means, I’m going to be a full time Mommy Monday through Friday. At the moment, I’m having some mixed emotions about it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love, love, love to spend time with my little man. The thing is, spending eight straight hours with him seems a bit daunting because I don’t know how I’m going to keep him happy and occupied like they do at daycare. For example at daycare, he has other kids to play with, a whole bunch of toys to toss around, and suck on, that he doesn’t have at home, and different adults to interact with. At home, he has his regular toys, the dog to harass, and me. I really hope it’s enough and I’m trying to figure out different things to do with him during the day in addition to playing. I’ve come up with listening to music, reading, doing laps around the kitchen and living room, practicing walking, and hopefully when it gets nice outside, going for walks and playing in the front yard. Basically, I just don’t want to become frustrated and overwhelmed with him if for some reason I’m not able to keep him happy and occupied. I just want him to be content and having a good time.   

I guess I’m just feeling a tad inadequate at the moment and sad because I can’t keep him in daycare where he likes to go and be with the other kids his age. The reason why I know he likes daycare so much is due to the fact there is a picture of him with another kid who he really likes from daycare on our fridge. Every time he sees the picture of him and her together, he giggles and to take that away from him, makes me sad. I feel that it’s really important for him to be with other people besides me and now that I haven’t been able to find a job since I’ve been laid off, I’m not able to provide that outlet for him anymore. :0( So yes, I’m bumming at the moment.

However, I am trying to look at the positive side of things and how most parents don’t get to spend this kind of time with their kids at a young age. My Facebook Friend, Katie who works for WIXX, had to return to work and leave her little man at daycare for the first time since she had him today. She talked on Facebook about how she was feeling a bit emotional and guilty about it. I totally remember how that felt when we had to take Ryan to daycare for the first time and now that I’m home with him, I need to realize that this time is pretty special, so, I’m going to soak it all up and enjoy it until a do find a job. I guess, maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

Right now my little guy just woke up from a nap and is in his room, standing in his crib, and is giggling away waiting for me to come and get him. It’s so hilarious and is bringing a smile to my face as a write this. With that said, I better go get him before he figures out a way to get out of the crib all on his own! :0) I'm sure that day is on the horizon! 

Easter feels a little more special this year...

First ever Easter card came in the mail
from Grandma and Grandpa! :0)

Now that I have a little one, Easter is just a little bit more special this year and I just feel all warm and fuzzy inside about it! You could almost say that I'm gushing, but let's not get too over the top!

As a person who isn't one for showing emotion, I've learned through my son that showing emotion is okay and that's why this Easter seems to mean so much more than those in the past. I get to share it with my son, enjoying is childlike wonderment and curiosity towards everything that is going on around him. Every time he discovers something new, it's so amazing to him and to be able to experience his first time experiencing things is pretty amazing to me as well. All those firsts are so special and really makes life worth living!

What has been the most fun so far about Easter is doing all those fun Easter activities. For example, Ryan can't eat candy or really look for Easter eggs, but being able to dye Easter eggs for him and put together an Easter basket was just totally cool. Dave and I dyed the eggs yesterday and then when they were dry, we put them in a fun Easter basket for him. We even bought the little guy a cute little spring teddy bear and so far, he's loved playing with it, especially when he first got it and was completely mesmerized by it. He just kind of looked at it for a bit and after a few minutes, grabbed it and giggled away. It was so fun to see him so happy! :0)

Basically, my little bundle of joy is turning this tomboy into a softy and I'm actually pretty happy about it. He's teaching me so many things that I needed to learn and I'm completely thankful he's in my life. I love you little man and with that, I'm going to stop writing and get back to enjoying the day!

Happy Easter to ALL!

We got Ryan a play pen!

We got Ryan a play pen, or playard as the trendy people like to call them,over the weekend and I must say, we should have gotten him one sooner. It was actually a hand-me-down from one of my mom’s friend, which was totally cool and the first thing I want to say is thank you to the Glysch family for letting us use it. It’s been a godsend from the standpoint that I can put him in it and focus on something else for a second instead of following him all throughout the house making sure he doesn’t hurt himself. I mean, the kid can motor!

It gets a bit taxing at times trying to keep up with him because he hates sitting still. One second, he’s over by the Xbox under our huge flat screen TV that could fall on him and kill him in an instant, then he’s over by Beaver’s cage trying to stand up, and then he’s in the kitchen wondering how to open up the refrigerator. It’s really crazy how mobile he’s becoming! Just yesterday he was playing basketball with his sports discovery toy and in a flash, he was trying to rip down the curtains that where six feet away. What’s even crazier is how beat I get after watching him for an entire day. It almost rivals how tired I get after doing a brick workout (which is stacking two workouts on one, like biking for an hour and then going for a run afterwards). I’m hoping that I can build up my endurance so I’m not so wiped out after trying to keep up with him. Hopefully, that happens sooner rather than later.

So, now that I’m able to put him in something for a short while without having to worry about him, it’s a bit of a relief. However at the same time, I kind of feel like a bad parent because I put him in the play pen instead of having to deal with him. I know that from time to time, we all need a break, yet it still makes me think that I’m a bad mom. The way I justify it though is by seeing how much fun he has when he does play in his play pen. The other day, he was giggling up a storm while teasing the dog through the mesh with one of his toys. It was super cute, especially since Beaver was pretty upset that he couldn’t get the toy that Ryan had! I found myself smiling and laughing at them both for about five minutes, something that happened in the video below!

Anyway, play pen or not, Ryan is growing up pretty quick and I can’t believe he’s almost nine months old. Not sure where the time has gone? The only thing I know is that I’m trying to enjoy it all as much as possible! :)